So Fetch!: Dream casting for a Broadway production of ‘Mean Girls’

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Cady and “The Plastics” in “Mean Girls.”

After years of speculation, it is officially happening. It may be a while before it arrives, but Mean Girls, in stage musical form, will eventually make its way to Broadway. Mean Girls creator Tina Fey has confirmed that she and her husband Jeff Richmond are working on developing the musical. So stop worrying about feeling victimized by Regina George and get excited.

While it is impossible to predict who will ultimately be cast to bring these catty characters to the stage, we can dream in the meantime. Here are some not-so-subtle suggestions to the casting team of Mean Girls the musical.

Sierra Boggess

Sierra Boggess

Cady Heron: Fresh-faced, bright-eyed and red-headed Sierra Boggess would make an excellent Cady Heron. She’s been the perfect picture of innocence in The Phantom of the Opera and The Little Mermaid, and that’s exactly how Cady starts out. As Cady takes a turn for the mean, Boggess can add some malicious flair to the character.

Laura Bell Bundy

Laura Bell Bundy

Regina George: Laura Bell Bundy has played many a popular girl in her day. She has filled the shoes of both Elle Woods and Glinda, both of whom are always the center of attention, but her work as Amber Von Tussle in Hairspray is what ultimately makes her prepared to play Regina George, the meanest mean girl of all.

Leslie Kritzer

Leslie Kritzer

Gretchen Weiners: Leslie Kritzer would be perfect for the role of Gretchen, whose hair is “full of secrets.” Kritzer’s preppy-girl experience in Legally Blonde and Hairspray makes her ready to take the stage as the daughter of the inventor of Toaster Strudel.

Becky Gulsvig

Becky Gulsvig

Karen Smith: Becky Gulsvig, another Legally Blonde veteran with blonde hair and an innocent face, would be a perfect Karen Smith. As a former Amber Von Tussle and a former Elle Woods, she’s got the comedic timing to make Karen shine.

Kyle Dean Massey

Kyle Dean Massey

Aaron Samuels: Kyle Dean Massey has plenty of experience playing charming, dashing men. He played Gabe in Next to Normal and is currently breaking hearts as Fiyero in Wicked. If his resume is any indication, he is clearly the type of universally adorable golden boy needed to play Aaron Samuels.

Alysha Umphress

Alysha Umphress

Janis Ian: The spunky Alysha Umphress could bring a new (and hilarious) level of feist to Janis. In the rock musical American Idiot, Umphress perfected the “tough girl” vibe.

Kristin Chenoweth

Kristin Chenoweth

Mrs. George: Kristin Chenoweth is not too hard to picture in this role. Hilarious and glamorous, Chenoweth absolutely fits the bill for the role of Regina’s flighty mother.

Ana Gasteyer

Ana Gasteyer

Mrs. Heron: Ana Gasteyer may be a star of the screen but she’s a Broadway star too, and she’s already proven she can sing her face off when she played Elphaba in Wicked. She’d do great reprising her film role as Cady’s mom onstage. Who better to discover the Fertility Vase of the Ndebele Tribe under her kitchen sink than the woman who did it first in the movie?

Heidi Blickenstaff

Heidi Blickenstaff

Ms. Norbury: Heidi Blickenstaff is quirky and comical, and whats not to love with a voice like hers? Am I the only one who thinks she’d look stunning in Ms. Norbury’s trademark glasses and collared shirts?

Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman

Glen Coco: By far the most important role of all, the integral and plot-altering character of Glen Coco should be given only to a leading man – Hugh Jackman, of course.

The Plastics perform "Jingle Bell Rock."

“The Plastics” perform “Jingle Bell Rock.”

One of the best things about the film is its excellent choice of words that leave plenty of options for the musical’s material. Here are Mean Girls quotes we’d like to see turned into full-scale musical numbers with intricate choreography:

“That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.”

“Is butter a carb?”

“She doesn’t even go here.”

“On Wednesdays we wear pink.”

“I meant to say cool but then I started to say great.”

“Yeah, but he’s my first cousin.”

“You go Glen Coco!” 

 “It’s like I have ESPN or something.”

So you agree, you think you’re really pretty?”

One can only hope that the already existing Mean Girls musical numbers remain intact when the show is brought to the stage. After all, what would Mean Girls be without the Plastics’ rendition of “Jingle Bell Rock” and Damien’s stunning performance of “Beautiful?” The show just wouldn’t be complete with Kevin Gnapoor’s rap sequence either.

How about a musical number celebrating Gretchen and Jason’s unsung love or a health class song lead by Coach Carr? We’d also love a stirring ballad entitled “The Projection Room Above the Auditorium.”

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About Claire H.

Writer, performer, picture-taker, New Yorker. Find me on Twitter at @Claire_Hannum.
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7 Responses

  1. My dream cast is a little different:

    – Cady played by Allison Case
    – Karen played by Amanda Seyfried! What a fun crossover, right?
    – Aaron played by Matt Doyle
    – Glen Coco played by Jason Gotay

    But I laugh so much over your choice of Hugh Jackman… But isn’t Glen supposed to be like 17?

  2. I love this! I have been so excited for this to happen ever since it was announced. Mean Girls is one of my absolute favorite movies and I think, done correctly, it will be phenomenal. I like your list- I hadn’t thought of several of those people (specifically Sierra Boggess…love that!) Here is my dream cast (yes I’ve given this much thought!!)
    Cady Heron: Jenn Damiano
    Regina George: Megan Hilty
    Gretchen Weiners: Laura Osnes
    Karen Smith: Annaleigh Ashford
    Ms. Norbury: Sutton Foster
    Janice Ian: Krysta Rodriguez